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Friday, 14 June 2013

This is Water

On the 12th of June I swam 500 lengths of a 25m pool (12.5km/7.77 miles). The feat took 7 hours, an hour longer than intended. The reason: I was ill throughout.

It appeared a classic case of Murphy's (sod's) law. With all the training, and with a friend having traveled halfway cross-country to watch, my body betrayed me.

The previous evening I could hardly eat. The night was beset by a splitting headache and bouts of diarrhea, which meant vital sleep and vital fluids were lost. In the morning I awoke to a bed drenched in sweat.

In the face of such adversity a marathon event would be seen by most as a write-off. However, for reasons that will become clear, I was unwilling to concede defeat. With help from my dad (who, bless the guy, spent the day watching the event and encouraging me) I prepared by taking a number of tablets, downing electrolyte rich drinks, and munching slowly on brown toast—in between more visits to the bathroom.

As I began my swim late-morning I was unsettled, but also in my element. I couldn't quite pretend I was son of Poseidon, but gliding through the water was initially tolerable (as opposed to, say, the rhythmic pounding of a running event). Up and down I went, maintaining a strong but steady pace, and ignoring as best I could the squirming protests. Every 50 lengths or so I got out, and got back in, got out, and got back in, as worse and worse the sensations became.

In trying to reach 400 lengths I almost broke down. The most I had done in training was 320, as I figured extending much beyond that the recovery time would outweigh the fitness benefit (this is the same reason marathon runners do not tend to run more than 15 miles while training for 26). It did not help that the '400' psychological barrier came with vomiting at the 340 mark, then twice again when I reached 372 lengths. By then I was deliriously muttering “game over”, over a basin. Then shaking-shivering, sat in the shower.

But back to the pool. Up and down.

By this point you must be wondering what was keeping me going. Letting down a friend is really unfortunate, but forgivable considering the circumstances. Rescheduling is an inconvenience, perhaps a break of honour, but again understandable. Neither explanation adequately explains this force of will.

To understand you need first know why I was swimming the event.

For the last decade a person I care about has been suffering from a progressively painful and debilitating condition, known as Endometriosis. This involves the depositing of material intended to line the uterus in other areas of the body, often causing infertility, and chronic emotional and physical pain. It is estimated that 1 in 10 women have the condition, to varying degrees, however the social perception that women must deal with period pain (that it is part of being a woman) is a severe barrier to treatment and research. It is essentially an ignored epidemic. My swim event was an effort to raise awareness and funds for research, with all donations going towards the World Endometriosis Research Foundation (WERF), in the hope that other women will not similarly suffer in the future.

The condition is a far more extreme example of a person being betrayed by their body. In considering this I had a number of inspirations, allowing me to maintain resolve and keep moving forward.

I thought of the late David Foster Wallace, who did the superb talk 'This is Water', and said that “it just depends on what you want to consider. […] If you want to operate on your default-setting then you, like me, will not consider possibilities that aren't pointless and annoying. But if you've really learned how to think, how to pay attention, then you will know you have other options.”

I considered the possibility that I did, in some way, want to experience some suffering. Tennessee Williams once wrote about how we are all sentenced to solitary confinement within our own skins, unable, despite our best efforts, to break through the walls to one another. If ever you've hugged a person and found that you can't quite... get close enough then you understand to what he is referring. I subscribe to this view, to a point, but I believe a combination of empathy and experience can allow us to flit, albeit briefly, into the hearts and minds of another, and perhaps touch one another at a deeper level.

By taking charge of my perception, how I chose to see things, my pain became an 'organising principle' for my motivation, rather than something only undermining my efforts. I also knew that unlike those suffering from the condition, my body was betraying me (as I pursued my ambitions) for only a few hours, rather than the days, weeks, months, years, during which sufferers keep moving forward.

For me, completing the challenge was made all the more rewarding by overcoming this adversity. But I experienced only a mere fraction of the suffering some go through, and they cannot overcome adversity alone, nor have they the luxury of choice, or feelings of relief and reward, as the hellish cycle goes on and on. Any help people provide in raising awareness of the condition or, better still, donating to the cause, will make a difference. Those who have and those who will have my sincere thanks.
http://www.justgiving.com/swim-marathon/

Aftermath: Still smiling.

References and Links
- 'This is Water' by David Foster Wallace: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QiyY4t7WbnU (video adaption, sorry if link gets broken, it frustratingly keeps getting taken down)
- 'Person to Person' by Tennessee Williams: http://www.nytimes.com/books/00/12/31/specials/williams-person.html
- I love sharing this, illustrates more than one way of seeing things: http://www.exploratorium.edu/exhibits/postcard_illusions/images/oldyoung.gif
- A concise and informative article on the myths and misconceptions of Endometriosis: http://endometriosis.org/resources/articles/myths/
- My original campaign video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jD6Fx82jg7c
- Write-up by my friend, Harry, who came down from Surrey to watch!


And here is the other side of the story.

3 comments:

  1. Discussion thread: http://www.bungie.net/en-us/Forum/Post?id=60776419

    ReplyDelete
  2. Dear Tom

    A fine and thoughful blog markinga tremendous effort. That determination to finish...hold on to it and use it in your life for good. Im very proud of you Thomas. Very proud. Love uncle pete

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi Tom,

    Great effort and a delicate subject matter nicely dealt with - very much looking forward to seeing you Sunday - Love Uncle John.

    ReplyDelete